not famous yet


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Tuesday, May 27, 2003

time is me and I should know
I knew this several months ago
I knew more than I do now
for I've been turned around somehow

relax the world will spin beside itself and suck you in
with threats and hopes beyond compare

I change the landscape as I pass
meandering from sand to glass
I suction there for one whole day
until the feeling goes away

I don't need these orbits in my life
revolve and cycle through
don't keep coming back for more

I don't need this circular design
wheel and spin away from me
you've been by here before

I've lost my mind
I've lost my way
I'm bound to lose
You wonder where I am
-phish, "frankie says"

Sunday, May 25, 2003

Indiana Jones will always be my favorite
While "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" is, in my opinion, the very best of the Indiana Jones trilogy, I was reminded tonight of my favorite Indiana Jones moment, which occurs in "Raiders of the Last Ark." At the very end of the movie, after the Ark of the Covenant has been retrieved and sent off in the crate, we see the crate being placed on top of a pile of other crates with a forklifts. The camera slowly pans out until we see an entire warehouse filled with stacks and stacks of these crates, leading us to wonder what other things are being hidden from us by our government.
This is conspiracy theory stuff 10 years before X-Files.
But "The Last Crusade" will always be my favorite. Something interesting I found from the Internet Movie Database website: The film stars a former James Bond (Sean Connery), a former Bond ally (John Rhys-Davies), a former Bond girl (Alison Doody), two former Bond commanding officers ('Byrne, Michael' and Billy J. Mitchell), a former Bond nightclub owner (Vernon Dobtcheff), and three former Bond villains (Julian Glover, Stefan Kalipha and Pat Roach).
I don't really have a conclusion for this post. I think I'm just going to quit writing now.

Saturday, May 24, 2003

thoughts of the day
1. Milk is an enabler. If you are eating cookies, you start thinking about how great a glass of milk would taste with them. Then, while pouring yourself the milk, you start thinking about how healthy it is of you to be drinking this milk, and how it probably cancels out the unhealthiness of the cookies. You then proceed to eat far more cookies than you planned to (although I usually plan to eat the whole box anyway). This is the fault of milk.
An anti-milk rant from the daughter of a dairy farmer.
2. Bob Dylan cannot sing. I do not know why this man needs to be famous. It is slightly annoying that someone who cannot sing needs to be a famous singer while there are plenty of perfectly good singers who are not famous. While I think that Dylan is an excellent lyricist, he is not a singer. Someone once tried to justify this to me with the explanation "but his songs are all about the lyrics, that's what makes them good." No. Sorry. The purpose of a song is to be musical, thereby requiring a melodic interpretation. If you are only good at words, write poems.
3. Kate will be joining me in attendance at the prestigious University of Vermont this fall. Kate took a year off after high school but took some classes at UVM in the meantime. When applying for Fall '03 admission, she was told that since she does have some college credits, she needs to apply as a transfer student. This is slightly stupid in itself, as she was not in attendance at a university so she is not transferring from anywhere. When she explained this to the admissions person, she was told that she was, in effect, transferring to UVM from.... UVM. Right. But that's not the end of it. I asked her today how things were coming along and she said she still hadn't received her enrollment material. When she called to inquire about this, she was told that her file wasn't completed because her transcripts had not yet arrived; they had been sent but were slow in getting there. Kate said, "My transcripts are slow in getting from UVM to UVM?" The admissions person said, "Wait, that sounds bad, doesn't it?"
Oh UVM. I can't wait.

Sunday, May 18, 2003

after awhile she becomes numb to it
and wonders
what was the big deal?
what did she expect him to be?
a rewind button for all the mistakes,
a panacea for every wound
she ever felt twinge inside her?
the truth is
she could never do that for him,
never ease his worries the way she wanted to,
stomp the past flat into the ground so it would never
the truth is
history will repeat itself
again and again and again
until she can no longer cover her ears and close her eyes
to what lies before her.

Sunday, May 11, 2003

going once going twice
sold to the girl who ignored all the advice
of all the people who knew better
she just stood there on the front porch
waiting for her will to come and get her

she was packed
she had a suitcase full of noble intentions
she had a map and a straight face
hell-bent on reinvention
and she was ready for the lonely
she was in it for it only

going once going twice
down the road less taken
with her diary and her WD40
and her swiss army knife and her beer
and there was always someone there to say
why don't you just stay,
and hang your hat here?

but she was packed
she had a suitcase
full of bungles and near misses
and she was swinging through a jungle
of last calls and first kisses
and she was learning about things
about huge humilities
and then one day she looked around her
and everything up to then was showing
she wondered how did i get here
without even knowing where i was going
and now there's no getting out of this
there is no going back
and it all seemed so odd sometimes
and the odds all seemed stacked

going once going twice
sold to the girl who ignored all the advice
of all the people who knew better
she just stood there on the front porch
waiting for her will to come and get her

she was packed
she had a suitcase
she had a map
and a straight face
she was ready for the lonely
and she was in it for it only.

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

share the time again
I spend with you
a friend is always good to have
but a lover's kiss is better than angels raining down at me
I dream of you at times when you're by my side
dream you're not just like you are
so troubled and doubling my pain
just one more tear
you shed for me
I wish that I could climb inside your mind
and spend some time and hug and hold you
and mold you into what I'd like
but no I can't do this
just a kiss to spend a while by you
and your familiar smile and voice

I lay awake
then lean back and smiling
on you
most everything you do for me, I say
and the while let's make our way
and feel warm
in the middle of this storm with you

but while I do my best
with all the rest I leave to you

all this trouble for a kiss from you, I'll do it
and then you come up smiling
and I'm thrown

the road to you is long and I've been on it for awhile
and I need a warm embrace
I'll take a break
and say I want to leave you awake

-#40, dmb
this has been THE STRANGEST week. I seem to have a pattern of only making new friends right before I go on break. I know (think) I'm doing the right thing by transferring... but it scares me to think about having to start blank again next fall... I guess I made it through fine here, but for the great majority of my time at Salve I was thoroughly miserable. however I have grown comfortable in my misery, and it has taught me some semblance of independence I suppose... there are certainly people I will miss here. I definitely lucked out with Lauren as a roommate. Kristen and I certainly had our ups and downs, but I can say that any conflicts were a learning experience.
in summation: I'm both ecstatic and depressed to be leaving. very confusing.

Saturday, May 03, 2003

at least I'll be in good company
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Purgatory (Repenting Believers) Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers) Low
Level 2 (Lustful) Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous) Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious) Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy) Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics) Very Low
Level 7 (Violent) Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers) High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous) Low

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

emermaid1028: i am the eighth level
emermaid1028: "extreme"
limelightlover7: at least we will have one another's company in hell
emermaid1028: yeah but youre only two
emermaid1028: im six levels below
emermaid1028: i dont know if theyll let me visit you