not famous yet

2003-12-18T20:44:00.000-05:00

You are Mark! You are naturally shy, but always
follow your heart. Make sure this Christmas you
tell that special someone that you view them as
perfect.

Which Love Actually Character Are You?
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2003-12-17T22:46:00.000-05:00

I keep intending to sit down and document all the goings-on of the past week and this is the first I've gotten to it (of course, it has nothing to do with the fact that I desperately need to be studying for my calc final and am instead procrastinating at all costs). so here goes.
monday and tuesday:
nothing very exciting happened. some classes were attended, some were not, I was sick for a little while. we'll skip the details.
wednesday:
last day of classes. this is a day of great excitement at any school, but the craziness is elevated by the fact that I attend UVM. I love love love UVM. on the last day of classes every semester, there is an event known as The Naked Bike Ride at midnight. this is exactly what you think it is - a large group of naked kids ride their bikes through campus... and everyone, of course, comes outside to watch. most everyone is drunk or high in a serious way, and the fact that we had a huge snowstorm the previous weekend made conditions exactly right for a huge, all-encompassing snowball fight. I walked over to athletic campus with allen, brett and rach (myself being the only sober one as I was still sick) and served as chaperone, rescuing rachel from being thrown "like a snowball" by some sketchy guy from her philosophy class and keeping brett from getting arrested.
thursday:
honestly, i don't remember what went on thursday night. cat's meow sang for a holiday party at the radisson.
friday:
the evening began at 6 or so, when I met some of the other cat's meow girls at austin. from there we went to the hit paws' apartment and pregamed until the top cats concert. the concert was ok, the boys were their usual brand of goofy cuteness, and the guest group made me feel pretty good about our group. by the end of the show everyone had pretty much sobered up... so of course we proceeded to AEPi to finish up the night, where I spent several hours having the nerdiest possible conversations with Nick and Matt Girard (Nick is a former Top Cat who did some arrangements for us, and Matt is his brother who frequently does sound).
saturday:
cat's meow sang at a holiday party for families of deployed soldiers at camp johnson. we sucked a lot. but we did the gig for free so i don't feel too bad about it. saturday night, rachel and i went to the ben & jerry's christmas party at the sheraton. it was... eh. even less fun than when i went two years ago. however, the infamous cyrus was there with his girlfriend, and i went over and had a little chat with him. i left when the girlfriend came back to the table, but i think i succeeded in making him sufficiently uncomfortable, and at least THAT is all out of my system. so then we came back and were silly around the dorm, and lee came up and we hung out... et cetera.
sunday:
oh who cares.
monday, tuesday, and today have all been consumed with exams nonsense... which i am now going to go to bed in preparation for. home in two days (thank the lord).

2003-12-07T22:32:00.000-05:00

i could make you happy
if you weren't already
-ani

today is a day where every song i listen to has a great quote fitting my emotion of the moment. i think it would be ridiculous to list all of them here, but there's one.

2003-12-07T18:40:00.000-05:00

"megan, PLEASE tell me you've seen my left glove... it's AN-GOR-A!!!"
-nikki, about 10pm last night

i have never been quite so entertained as sitting next to nikki during the hit paws concert.
(thought i might start this post off with something cheerful because it's going to be a very angry, ranting post)
ok, first of all: i hate snow. SO SO VERY MUCH. it isn't the mere existance of snow that makes me angry, but the fact that it ruins everything i ever want to do. we sang at the design-TASC competition yesterday afternoon, and then met at 3:30 with the intention of setting off on our exciting trip to middlebury... however, the FUCKING SNOW prevented us from going to our awesome fun concert with SIM... I seriously cried. I had been looking forward to this concert for months, and I so needed a night of fun and singing with fun boys and girls I love. Emily and I have still not ever had a chance to be drunk and crazy together.
anyway, the hit paws' fall concert was last night as well, and the bobolinks were supposed to be their guest group... however, they also had to cancel due to the SNOW. therefore, both SIM and hit paws were left without openers and both cat's meow and bobolinks were stuck at our respective schools. I think you see where I'm going with this one.
so yeah. we went and opened for hit paws, which was still fun, and they were really really good. plus i sat next to nikki who got drunk and then was her usual terribly un-PC self (which is really really funny) throughout the evening. then i walked back to redstone in the three feet of snow and ordered domino's and played asshole and kings and got stupidly drunk with rachie and the other kids on the floor. rachel touched my boobs. that's all i have to say about that.
and this afternoon i sang the messiah with choir in the recital hall... and we sucked. a lot. maybe no one noticed.
but I seriously feel so much better after all this venting. we ordered pizza. i'm downloading carmina burana. I am a complete and utter nerd. I need to finish reading "all men are mortal" really soon. I'll leave you with an excerpt of my favorite drunken IM conversation last night:

HOBBLETTS: dp yu haveALCPHOOL
limelightlover7: si
HOBBLETTS: SI SISI SENORTIA
HOBBLETTS: GIMME THAT SERNSEIT
limelightlover7: i bet you're funyn when your'e drunk
HOBBLETTS: ;im a fuckky her than you you p;ir,k
HOBBLETTS: whar

2003-12-02T23:21:00.000-05:00

smile. please. something. think about the last time you got a REALLY good hug. or someone called you just to say hi. or how nice it was to get a card from someone in the group. or th last itme you laughed so hard it hurt. one of these has GOT to put a smile on your face which will lead to energy and happy and YAY!!!!!

--excerpted from an email by nikki to the rest of cat's meow.

rehearsal tonight was a little rocky. i'm trying really hard to take the above words to heart... but yeah. today was a super crummy day. worse than yesterday, if you can believe it. but rach and i are listening to disney music and eating applebee's smashed garlic potatoes.
notice: chivalry is officially dead. i was literally knocked over by a boy on the shuttle today as he dove for the seat i was attempting to sit in. it was extremely disconcerting.
there are cute boys working at the starbucks downtown. i think i'll become a coffee drinker. or a barista.

2003-12-02T00:39:00.000-05:00

on what kind of day would one be followed from bus stop to bus stop by a boy with a mohawk, listening to him talk about his 15 year old sister and her three abortions?
today. that is what kind of day.
today was not a good day.
a lot of other things happened too, but that is the one event that i believe is a truly accurate summation of just how crummy my day was.

a little john mayer will fill in the rest for you.

and I don't know where you went when you left me but
says here in the water you must be gone by now
I can tell somehow
one hand on the trigger of a telephone
wondering when the call comes
where you say it's alright
you got your heart right

maybe I'll sleep inside my coat
wait on the porch 'til you come back home
oh, right
I can't find a flight

we share the sadness
split Screen sadness

two wrongs make it all right

all you need is love is a lie cause
we had love but we still said goobye
now we're tired, battered fighters

and it stings when it's nobody's fault
cause there's nothing to blame at the drop of your name
it's only the air you took and the breath you left

maybe I'll sleep inside my coat and
wait on the porch 'til you come back home
oh, right
I can't find a flight
so I'll check the weather wherever you are
cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight
it might be my only right

we share the sadness
split screen sadness

I called
because
I just
need to feel you on the line
don't hang up this time
and I know it was me who called it over but
I still wish you'd fought me 'til your dying day
don't let me get away

cause I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me
so I can say this is the way that I used to be
there's no substitute for time
or for the sadness
split screen sadness
we share the sadness
-"split screen sadness"

2003-11-30T22:10:00.000-05:00

seriously, how cute are my friends?

2003-11-29T23:38:00.000-05:00

love actually.
go see it. right now.
this movie actually changed my opinion of hugh grant. i LIKE him now.
but that's kind of a secret, because for several years i have made a point of declaring my belief that he is a sniveling weenie who is only famous because he has an accent.
but oh oh, i love him now. and colin firth. and liam neeson. well, the second two i loved all along, but now i have added a third to the list.
anyway. i will admit that i was skeptical. and i am picky about movies... but: SO GOOD. i absolutely reccommend it to everyone and anyone.
i am getting sick. i went on a date and a half with em and tommy to bove's tonight. i got the new cosmopolitan. i have a really good plan for christmas presents. i'm going back to school tomorrow, where there are people i love dearly and who i have missed. and another person who falls into the aforementioned category is coming back in less than two weeks. "sweet baby james" is on the radio. the concert with SIM is on saturday. i'm going to kick the italian habit if it kills me. which it might.
also, i have temporary tattoos.
it is now time for annie's mac and cheese accompanied by an SNL repeat.

2003-11-25T11:15:00.000-05:00

it snowed last night.
that's right. it was almost sixty degrees yesterday, and then it snowed last night.
I am proud to be a resident of this crazy state.
everyone is outside hugging and leaving and I miss my roommate. I am lonely.
meh. maybe I should go take a shower and face the rest of the world.

2003-11-24T23:43:00.000-05:00

i'm alive
on the stereo
jackson browne is just merging into traffic
from the on-ramp
weaving his beat-up pickup in between
luxury sedans and other people
who aren't brokenhearted.
and this California drive is going to do him some good--
teach him to look at things alone
and confide in his guitar.
yeah
this trip
it going to do us some good,
me and jackson.
we're past those dead dreams
because the highway is as long as we want
and look--
the ocean.

2003-11-23T14:59:00.000-05:00

it's hard to listen to a hard hard heart
beating close to mine
pounding up against the stone and steel
walls that i won't climb
sometimes the hurt is so deep deep deep
you think that you're gonna drown
sometimes all i can do is weep weep weep
with all this rain falling down

strange how hard it rains now
rows and rows of big dark clouds
but im holding on underneath this shroud
rain

it's hard to know when to give up the fight
some things you want will just never be right
it's never rained like it has tonight before
now i don't want to beg you baby
for something maybe you could never give
i'm not looking for the rest of your life
i just want another chance to live

strange how hard it rains now
rows and rows of big dark clouds
but im holding on underneath this shroud
rain

strange how hard it rains now
rows and rows of big dark clouds
but im holding on underneath this shroud
rain

strange how hard it rains now
rows and rows of big dark clouds
but im still alive underneath this shroud
rain

ohh ra-a-a-in
ohh ra-a-a-in

-patty griffin

2003-11-23T14:50:00.000-05:00

life here gets a little more interesting ever day
danny: "you mean you all here don't celebrate the day after christmas? we call it stevenses day. it's a big day for partying."
me: "nope. i think you have a lot more holidays than we do."
danny: "i guess so."
me: "it must be fun to be irish."
danny [leans back, grinning]: "yeah. yeah it is."

although the lad from ashbourne was only here because he is all in love with my roommate, it was fun to have him here nonetheless. next year i am going to live with someone who is not as cute as rachel so that boys will come to the room to visit ME.
well actually that's a lie. i'm going to live with rachel again. because gosh darn it, she is just adorable and i don't want to live with anyone else. that is, of course, if a certain erstwhile friend of mine doesn't keep trying to steal her. seriously, who does that? you don't try to get your friend's roommate to move out to live with YOU, especially by saying things like "live with me... why would you want to live with her? we would have so much more fun together!" not so cool.
and also. crazy ex-roommate apparently refers to me in conversations with rach as a "stupid bitch." which is lovely because though i care very little for her, i have never used that choice phrase in reference to her. did i ever do anything to her besides simply not like her? i wasn't mean, i didn't mess up her stuff, i didn't talk smack about her to her friends (which, by the way, is generally never a smart plan)... oh well. working very hard on the idea that not everyone has to like me. i'm not too sure where this obsessive need to be everyone's favorite originated, but it sure is a hard habit to kick.
on that note, i'm off to take a shower. we'll go from there.

2003-11-21T14:52:00.000-05:00

holy magnum with the top cats last night...
last night had me considering rearranging my schedule for next semester so that i would have friday mornings free, thus enabling me to party with them every thursday night. we'll see. more details to come later.

2003-11-20T17:16:00.000-05:00

though i hate real snow, this is pretty cool
http://snowflakes.lookandfeel.com/viewflake.php?id=497015

2003-11-20T16:14:00.000-05:00

In the past few days, I have decided that maybe I am actually ready to be an adult.
I know this is a pretty ballsy declaration, and I don't mean being an "adult" in the sense that I need no support from other people, namely my parents. I mean that I am finally becoming a MATURE PERSON. Like, maybe when I stop being a teenager in March I will actually be ready to stop ACTING like a teenager.
This is all brought on mainly by an incident the other night. I was reading Sapienza's journal, including the various drafts of poems she has written over the past several months or so, and I realized this: she's GOOD. Really, really fucking good. Now, just to give you a bit of background, Sap and I have always had a fairly tumultuous friendship if only for the fact that we both liked to do all the same things (i.e. writing, theater, music) and both wanted to be the best/center of attention all the time... so that caused conflicts more often than not. In any case... it felt so good to read her stuff and just really appreciate it for what it is, and not be all competitive about it. She and I have really different styles of writing, and just because I obviously like my own style doesn't mean that I can't really like hers and see that it's awesome.
so yay for me on growing up. although self-congratulation is probably an ever-so-slight step backwards, I still feel pretty good.

2003-11-17T09:30:00.000-05:00

Megan Estey : A Cappella Male Anatomy, Physiology, Pyschology, "Cute"ology... BS '06
-from the cat's meow fall concert program
needless to say, my parents were not super impressed. but what are you going to do.
switching gears ever so slightly.... sweet honey in the rock. oh my god. i can't even begin to describe how crazy this show was. my mom and i were definitely the squarest people there. sweet honey, as always, continued to be an amazing example of what five women can do with only their voices... for the entire performance i think i sat there with my mouth open, trying to figure out how i could get my voice to do that too. during the first half of the show, there was an entire set based on getting voting rights for washington d.c., with pieces of old songs (including sometime, i'm gon' stand, joanne little, and how long) woven in between verses of "no taxation." the entire show was done in collaboration with berneice johnson reagon's daughter and her band, toshi reagon and big lovely. overall. just crazy. i want to see it again.
and also, i sat next to julia alvarez during the show, which was cool. i really really wanted to talk to her about her books (how the garcia girls lost their accents is one of my all-time favorites) but i didn't want to be one of those people who assumes that just because someone has achieved a certain amount of success that they want to talk about it all the time. so i left her alone.
i have now successfully wasted at least 45 minutes of my morning when i should have been studying... so that's what i'm off to do now.

2003-11-16T18:05:00.000-05:00

I'm sure it's no big surprise to you that your
romance is The Princess Bride. A heartwarming
tale of "Twue Wuve" that has giants,
Spainards and swashbuckling. You really do
think that love can overcome anything. You may
be a touch naive but your heart is certainly in
the right place. You've probably got one of
those relationships where proper nouns have
been replaced with "Snookums" and
"Pookie Pie". Eww. Beware a cuteness
overload.

What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
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2003-11-16T17:14:00.000-05:00

i am such a nerd

Eb major - you are warm and kind, always there for
your friends, who are in turn there for you.
You are content with your confortable life and
what you are currently achieving; if you keep
in this state you will go far.

what key signature are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

i. love. cat's meow. our show rocked. i have never been so completely pleased with a concert. thank you so much to everyone who came... and everyone who didn't, you missed a great time.
after the show we partied with the top cats, among many other random people. i was psyched to finally make friends with people from the other a cappella groups, because everyone else is always like "blah blah, my friend in hit paws" and i don't know anyone.
the point is, i do now. yay.
i have my italian oral exam tomorrow. i'm not excited. five minutes is a long time to speak in a language you don't know how to speak.
sweet honey in the rock tonight at the flynn with my mom. hooray.
crazy week.

2003-10-30T00:38:00.000-05:00

the name on everybody's lips is gonna be...
ROXIE.
roxie hart and velma kelly.
coming to life for one night only on the bodies of megan estey and emily halnon.
or that's the plan anyway.
we were supposed to go costume hunting tonight but that fell through, and tomorrow is not going to work either, so it's looking like friday afternoon.
nothing like the last minute.
matt and tony suggested that, if we can't find good chicago costumes, that we should go as... matt and tony.
we'll see.
i might do it only so i can wear the italian stallion t-shirt.

hooray for halloween! and for emily who is now nineteen!
and cat's meow which is fun again because i am good at my part!
and... uvm because... it's uvm... and i like it here.
i don't miss the nuns at all.

2003-10-27T12:07:00.000-05:00

poor nikki
ifinallycaved (11:02:43 PM): my sister called me to tell me that they can bring ONE thing from my room. it's like the stupid question people always ask .."if you could bring three things ..."
ifinallycaved (11:02:50 PM): only, it's real.
ifinallycaved (11:02:56 PM): and i couldn't think of a damn thing
http://www.kfmb.com/topstory19312.html

2003-10-26T13:15:00.000-05:00

I saw Paul today.
so weird.
I drove back to Middlebury this morning to pick up Ian and we stopped at the bakery in Bristol on our way back to UVM... and there was the oh-so-familiar red pickup truck.
I met his new love interest. I don't think she liked very much when I hugged him.
However we are finally at a place where we can talk to each other without it being weird, which is awesome. It's only taken, what? two years?
Wow. I'm so old.
In other news, Ian and I had some good bonding time. He is a genuinely nice boy, which is rare. So I approve of him and Rachie - whatever they have decided their relationship actually is. He said a lot funny things today, including the following:
"I've decided that before I die I have to have ninja sex." He went on to explain exactly what would constitute "ninja sex," a conversation I can't even begin to reproduce here.
And I just received an email from my aunt with a picture of my three year old cousin dressed as a strawberry. GodDAMN, my family has the cutest kids ever. and I mean ever.
The Salve boys are coming to visit in two weeks. I am so excited I probably won't sleep until then.

2003-10-26T13:05:00.000-05:00

when I counted up my demons.
so there was one for every day.
with the good ones on my shoulders,
I drove the other ones away.

so if you ever feel neglected,
if you think that all is lost,
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah,
hoping everything's not lost.

when you thought that it was over,
you could feel it all around,
and everybody's out to get you,
don't you let it drag you down.

'cause if you ever feel neglected,
and if you think that all is lost,
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah.
hoping everything's not lost

if you ever feel neglected,
if you think that all is lost,
I'll be counting up my demons, yeah,
hoping everything's not lost.

-coldplay

2003-10-26T11:01:00.000-05:00

I spent the night with a pirate last night.
the dread pirate roberts.
cary elwes is my new boyfriend.

2003-10-23T15:14:00.000-04:00

in honor of tonight

You're flamboyant Jack. Wild guestures, swaying
walk, c'mon

Which of Jack's (from Pirates of the Caribbean) multiple personalities are you?
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Aargh, What be ye character in thee pirates o' thee Caribbean?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-10-22T12:38:00.000-04:00

on another note entirely
ack. I am so thoroughly frustrated.
cat's meow is... I don't know. I love singing, I love being in the group, but it has caused me so much stress over the past few weeks. I get frustrated when I can't learn MY part, mostly because I am used to picking things up quickly and easily when it comes to music, and I am putting in all my effort and it's still not working. then I get frustrated when other people can't learn THEIR parts. then I get upset when other people are frustrated with ME for not knowing MY part even though I'm trying my darnedest.
blah.
but all the same, I am really happy to be in the group and to get to hang out with these girls, who are all really cool and I'm really flattered that they considered my talents to be on par with theirs (even though - ahem - being petty for a minute - I am still the only member of the group who is not a solo, an alternate, or a harmony). maybe I am simply more of a choral singer than a soloist. that would be lame.
second. I have an italian test today. obviously I am not studying at this particular moment. I should begin that soon.
I also have a paper due in my english class on friday. haven't even started. no clue what i'm going to write it on.
take-home midterm due monday for english. clueless.
and one more cat's meow thing: we have a curse. three members of our group have been seriously ill or injured within the past three weeks. we are currently down two girls - one with a broken ankle for which she had surgery yesterday, and one with an infected wisdom tooth which landed her in the hospital with a fever of 103.8. girl #1 saves my sanity because she and i are in italian together and can vent to one another about various things. girl #2 does all of our vocal percussion (and is completely out-of-control amazing at it) and our songs all sound empty without it. it's a catastrophe.
and also, have you noticed how every song ever is about people being in love, or wanting to be in love, or upset that they're not in love? it's great when you're happy and things are good... right now, not so great.
but tomorrow emily and tony and matt are coming up and we are going to see pirates of the caribbean. yayy. and on friday we may go to clark to do a show there, but if we are down three people (as it's looking like we might be) I think we will be remaining at groovy uv - in which case rach and I have a date to get blitzed and be idiots. saturday=camping at emily's. I hope her presents will be here by then. I am so absolutely excited about them. also so absolutely excited about the camping. nothing like an adventure with delilah-ho and the alfredo twins to cheer you up.
and look how cute!

2003-10-22T11:36:00.000-04:00

1. I do love you.
2. I'm sorry if you don't like my timing. would it have been any easier or better at any different time?
3. if you are trying to hurt my feelings, you are succeeding. congratulations.
4. I miss you. I'm sorry.

2003-10-06T22:09:00.000-04:00

cat's meow & SIM
december 6
middlebury college

that's right bitch

2003-09-29T00:17:00.000-04:00

Guster. Rocks. My World.
I wish that the concert hadn't happened already so I could still be looking forward to going.
(and by the way, I just tried to spell the word "hadn't" like this: "haddent")
english major, it is time for you to go to bed.

2003-09-22T00:41:00.000-04:00

crazy game - indigo girls
crazy game
i never should have started to play,
but now you couldn't tear me away
cause love is sweet, sweet baby.
so good to you and so bad and i fear,
the situation's clear before my eyes.
confusion wants to break me and it tries
but i've been a little bit stronger from the start
listen to my heart:

cause if you're ever believing i'm thinking of leaving
look to the moon,
cause it's a fact
she may go wandering about
but she always comes shining back
and it's true, i'll wait for you.

you dry your tears,
don't be thinking grey is here to stay.
sometimes everything is in the way you're wanting to look at it,
turn your view around,
dry your eyes.
eyes like yours should carry a smile,
i haven't seen them sparkle in a while,
give it one more try, dry your eyes.

cause if you're ever believing i'm thinking of leaving
look to the moon,
cause it's a fact
she may go wandering about
but she always comes shining back
and it's true, i'll wait for you.

2003-09-18T22:32:00.000-04:00

sarah: "for the next three months I am giving up men, meat, and makeup. the only loophole is if the guy's name starts with a 'b' or a 'j'. and the food doesn't count if someone else buys it or it's in a restaurant. but I ate chicken tonight, but it's ok because I'm sick, I had chicken noodle soup."
me: "what if you make out with a guy in a restaurant? does that count?"
sarah: "no, I can't do that. but if it's in a bathroom then it's ok. bathrooms are neutral territory."

sapienza. one of my oldest friends. getting a little crazier with each passing day.

2003-09-17T21:29:00.000-04:00

If I were a [feminine] gay man... by 38886
Your name
Your Gay Man Name	Gregorio
Your Gay Man Occupation	Liberal Newspaper Editor
Your Stereotypical Gay Man Trait	Flailing when excited
Your Gay Man Music of Choice	J.Lo
Your Gay Man Cause of Death	Jealousy!

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

2003-09-15T00:55:00.000-04:00

a few quotes
rachel: "do you think if we had sex with the domino's guy he'd give us free food?"

bec: "and i didn't want to be kissing him, but if i stopped then people would see my face and know who i was."

rachel [eating]: "mmm, crackers."
kate: "rachel, it's not nice to talk about white people like that."

me: "everyone wants a ride on the estey train... however there are a limited number of reserved tickets."

rachel [as she is with a guy who just wants to make out with her]:
"wait wait where's estey? estey needs her resty! otherwise she gets testy!"

awwww uvm.

2003-09-12T01:32:00.000-04:00

oh, and by the way... guess who is the newest member of the Cat's Meow?
me.
I fuckin rock.

2003-08-31T20:37:00.000-04:00

Thank GOD I transferred
I love UVM. That is a fact. My roommates rock, everyone is fun, and things are generally awesome. Last night we went to a hockey party, which was definitely on the lame side, but we had a good time anyway. Afterward we went down to Manhattan Pizza and played foosball and talked to some guy who was on a scavenger hunt for a bachelor party and one of my new friends gave him her panties (as it was one of the items on his list). Generally, I just have a great time hanging out with these girls, and I am so glad that things are different here than at Salve. This just proves that Vermont rules everything.

2003-08-28T00:31:00.000-04:00

THE LEAD SINGER OF PHISH IS A TERRORIST!
Where do people who write things like this come from? Trey Anastasio may be on many, many frightening hallucinogens, but I find it very hard to believe that he and the other members of Phish have encoded terrorist intructions within their songs. These are just four former UVM students (which makes them cool by default) who like music and happen to be successful. This article us up there with the pieces discussed here as some of the most ridiculous material I have ever read.

2003-08-22T01:20:00.000-04:00

I got a new dress. It makes me look like a Mary Engelbreit drawing. In fact, I match this set of flatware.

Today I learned about pirates. I wish I had done so in elementary school, like these children.

2003-08-17T23:37:00.000-04:00

Florida is pretty damn far away. and it sounds like both of my roommates are supermodels.

2003-07-24T00:07:00.000-04:00

see, it really IS a good company.
http://www.zug.com/pranks/outgoing/iscream.html

2003-07-23T23:08:00.000-04:00

a story that has actually occurred many times, within many different contexts, so if you think you are reading about yourself, you may be, but you are not the only person this story is about
A while ago, there was this guy. We'll call him "Mark." Mark and I sort of got together, in the loosest use of the phrase. As it turned out, I cared about Mark considerably more than Mark cared about me. Which is fine. I mean, I (of course) dislike him intensely now, but he was within his rights. Now. Here is the part where I demonstrate why I am a terrible person. After it became clear that whatever was between us wasn't going to be there anymore, we tried that being friends thing-- the being friends thing that really never works, you know. I, being jealous and still pretty attached to the guy, reverted to my junior high self and made various disparaging remarks considering Mark's character to many, many people-- in most cases, precisely the people to whom I should have not made this remarks, as they reported them directly to him. I have a big mouth. It's one of my flaws. Anyway, Mark confronted me about these comments, and was understandably irritated about them. At the time, I did feel bad and apologized. But lately I have come to realize that I really enjoy the fact that I still have the ability to get under his skin without having to try very hard. I know this makes me a terrible and vindictive person. However, I am already going to Hell for a myriad of reasons, so I may as well embrace the qualities that are more fun to play around in than conceal.

2003-07-23T22:45:00.000-04:00

Emily: "There is a seat reserved for me on the express train to Hell."
Me: "Don't worry, the seat next to it is marked 'Reserve for Megan Estey'."

2003-07-11T00:25:00.000-04:00

and p.s. i am officially becoming a hermit.

2003-07-09T10:42:00.000-04:00

everyone sucks. everyone. all of you. if you are reading this, I probably think you suck.

2003-07-02T00:27:00.000-04:00

further evidence that i am a hopeless music geek
a. while scooping ice cream at the VSO Pops Concert last friday, I recognized and named the 1812 Overture, the Washington Post March, and the Stars and Stripes Forever. I was extremely pleased with myself, and announced this fact to pretty much anyone who would listen.
b. have I already mentioned that the opening theme in Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue" bears a remarkable similarity to the theme of Gershwin's later "The Man I Love"?
c. my mom saw Arthur Fiedler conduct the Boston Symphony Orchestra on July 4, 1976 (the bicentennial) while they played the 1812 Overture, complete with cannons. that is SO COOL.

2003-06-20T00:14:00.000-04:00

a solid 45 minutes spent discussing the mighty ducks
mrcdmb6: im surprised youre the biggest ducks fan on my buddy list
mrcdmb6: Fulton: Lil' tuneage to go to sleep by?
Dean: Yeah.
[Fulton turns on loud rock music]
Dean: Sweet dreams, dude!
Top 20 Ways To Tell You're Obsessed With The Mighty Ducks

2003-06-19T00:34:00.000-04:00

This totally made my day.

2003-06-18T18:40:00.000-04:00

I somehow managed to avoid the temptation of spam emails with subject headings of "jfd43jk horny farmgirls go crazy 3423hah" and "MEGAN we have found your money." I even got past "Enlarge Your Penis NOW!" and "Free Inkjets sjkjhkjjhkUBY." However, today I received a message with the subject "Free Vanilla Cookies for YOU Megan!" If spam emails are going to start including offers for free food, I am a goner.

2003-06-17T19:17:00.000-04:00

it is official. I am never going to see my boyfriend again. he is currently in the midst of a two week trip to tennessee, which is bad enough. however, when he comes back he will be home for one two THREE days before he leaves for soccer camp, which is another week. Following that he is off to another four day music festival someplace else, not to mention some weeklong concert trip to Maine. this sucks.
plus, I think that I am in a fight with Emily. I might not be, as I have not actually seen her for about a week, but the last few times I DID see her she was unquestionably short with me. I know her well enough to tell when she's annoyed with me, and the best way to fix it is to just leave her alone for a while. but I really miss her and I want to hang out... but I am too scared to call her. so we'll see.
third, I have a really nasty cut on my toe. I'm not sure exactly how it happened, but I'm sure it has something to do with the fact that I'm a dumbass.
so, to summarize: I am lonely, and my toe hurts. I'm going to go eat a pint of ice cream.

2003-06-13T23:12:00.000-04:00

a few memos to all ben & jerry's customers
1. yes, unbearably stupid people like this DO actually exist
horrible, horrible man: give me a small mint chocolate chunk.
me: sure.
[I scoop his ice cream and give it to him. he hands it back to me.]
hhm: that's not mint chocolate chunk.
me: umm... yes, it is.
hhm: it isn't green.
me: well, we have no dyes in our ice cream.
hhm: it's supposed to be green. that's a mistake.
me: it's not a mistake, sir, as I just said, we don't have any dyes in our ice cream.
hhm: then why is the strawberry pink?
me: the strawberry is pink because there are strawberries in the ice cream... which MAKE IT pink.
hhm: hmmph.
me: it TASTES green, i promise.

ohh, I would have spit in his ice cream if I could have brought it somewhere he couldn't see.

2. that is not in the least bit amusing
I do not think you are funny when you walk into Ben & Jerry's and say "do you guys sell ice cream here?" and then chuckle to yourself. You are probably the millionth person to say that, and I am only smiling at you to be polite.

3. get a clue
I am sorry that you are lactose intolerant. However, I did not make you lactose intolerant. I also did not force you to come into an ICE CREAM store, where - surprise! - most everything has dairy in it. So don't try to make it my fault that YOU made a stupid decision.

4. I do not make the menu
that is correct, we no longer make coffee heath bar crunch. if you think about it, there are a lot of flavors we don't make anymore. you have to get rid of a flavor every now and then to make space for a new flavor. otherwise we would still have the same flavors we had when ben & jerry's started in 1978. I'm sorry that coffee heath bar crunch was your favorite, but it doesn't do any good to yell at ME about it. do you really think that if I had anything to do with what ice creams the company makes that I would be standing here scooping it for you?

5. oh, and p.s.:
no, we do not sell sandwiches, we sell ice cream and ice cream products. why on earth would you come into an ice cream store for sandwiches? let me make this clear, once and for all: we do not sell sandwiches, we never have sold sandwiches, and we never will sell sandwiches. why don't you try a deli?

2003-06-09T14:50:00.000-04:00

How Salve are you?
-A night on the town includes a 40 minute bus ride to Providence to have fun.
-You're familiar with the location of Brad Pitt's beach house.
-You race out of your dorm to catch the trolley to avoid a three minute walk to class.
-You know you're at Salve when the football team loses again and again and again...
-For a Salve girl a dress down day includes stilletto heels, designer jeans, and only ONE hour spent on hair and makeup.
-At Salve, "diversity" means different shades of blonde.
-When asked how it feels to live around mansions you reply: "Well, actually I live in one."
-You know you're at Salve when security gives you a $50 ticket for parking "illegally."
-You know you're in Rodgers Rec when the guys are staring at the weights instead of lifting them.
-You can't get better reception on your cell phone than when you're in your dorm room.
-A normal Saturday night includes getting thrown out of broken up parties and just ending up in VIA VIA.
-On a weekend night, everyone is taking the shuttle "to the post office."
-The students drive better cars than the teachers.
-Salve Regina: where the girls are pretty and the boys are prettier.

thank GOD I am never going back to that place.

2003-05-27T23:35:00.000-04:00

time is me and I should know
I knew this several months ago
I knew more than I do now
for I've been turned around somehow

relax the world will spin beside itself and suck you in
with threats and hopes beyond compare

I change the landscape as I pass
meandering from sand to glass
I suction there for one whole day
until the feeling goes away

I don't need these orbits in my life
revolve and cycle through
don't keep coming back for more

I don't need this circular design
wheel and spin away from me
you've been by here before

I've lost my mind
I've lost my way
I'm bound to lose
You wonder where I am
-phish, "frankie says"

2003-05-25T00:05:00.000-04:00

Indiana Jones will always be my favorite
While "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" is, in my opinion, the very best of the Indiana Jones trilogy, I was reminded tonight of my favorite Indiana Jones moment, which occurs in "Raiders of the Last Ark." At the very end of the movie, after the Ark of the Covenant has been retrieved and sent off in the crate, we see the crate being placed on top of a pile of other crates with a forklifts. The camera slowly pans out until we see an entire warehouse filled with stacks and stacks of these crates, leading us to wonder what other things are being hidden from us by our government.
This is conspiracy theory stuff 10 years before X-Files.
But "The Last Crusade" will always be my favorite. Something interesting I found from the Internet Movie Database website: The film stars a former James Bond (Sean Connery), a former Bond ally (John Rhys-Davies), a former Bond girl (Alison Doody), two former Bond commanding officers ('Byrne, Michael' and Billy J. Mitchell), a former Bond nightclub owner (Vernon Dobtcheff), and three former Bond villains (Julian Glover, Stefan Kalipha and Pat Roach).
I don't really have a conclusion for this post. I think I'm just going to quit writing now.

2003-05-24T00:00:00.000-04:00

thoughts of the day
1. Milk is an enabler. If you are eating cookies, you start thinking about how great a glass of milk would taste with them. Then, while pouring yourself the milk, you start thinking about how healthy it is of you to be drinking this milk, and how it probably cancels out the unhealthiness of the cookies. You then proceed to eat far more cookies than you planned to (although I usually plan to eat the whole box anyway). This is the fault of milk.
An anti-milk rant from the daughter of a dairy farmer.
2. Bob Dylan cannot sing. I do not know why this man needs to be famous. It is slightly annoying that someone who cannot sing needs to be a famous singer while there are plenty of perfectly good singers who are not famous. While I think that Dylan is an excellent lyricist, he is not a singer. Someone once tried to justify this to me with the explanation "but his songs are all about the lyrics, that's what makes them good." No. Sorry. The purpose of a song is to be musical, thereby requiring a melodic interpretation. If you are only good at words, write poems.
3. Kate will be joining me in attendance at the prestigious University of Vermont this fall. Kate took a year off after high school but took some classes at UVM in the meantime. When applying for Fall '03 admission, she was told that since she does have some college credits, she needs to apply as a transfer student. This is slightly stupid in itself, as she was not in attendance at a university so she is not transferring from anywhere. When she explained this to the admissions person, she was told that she was, in effect, transferring to UVM from.... UVM. Right. But that's not the end of it. I asked her today how things were coming along and she said she still hadn't received her enrollment material. When she called to inquire about this, she was told that her file wasn't completed because her transcripts had not yet arrived; they had been sent but were slow in getting there. Kate said, "My transcripts are slow in getting from UVM to UVM?" The admissions person said, "Wait, that sounds bad, doesn't it?"
Oh UVM. I can't wait.

2003-05-18T02:19:00.000-04:00

resurfacing
after awhile she becomes numb to it
and wonders
what was the big deal?
what did she expect him to be?
a rewind button for all the mistakes,
a panacea for every wound
she ever felt twinge inside her?
the truth is
she could never do that for him,
never ease his worries the way she wanted to,
stomp the past flat into the ground so it would never
resurface.
the truth is
history will repeat itself
again and again and again
until she can no longer cover her ears and close her eyes
to what lies before her.
-MWE

2003-05-11T14:15:00.000-04:00

going once going twice
sold to the girl who ignored all the advice
of all the people who knew better
she just stood there on the front porch
waiting for her will to come and get her

she was packed
she had a suitcase full of noble intentions
she had a map and a straight face
hell-bent on reinvention
and she was ready for the lonely
she was in it for it only

going once going twice
down the road less taken
with her diary and her WD40
and her swiss army knife and her beer
and there was always someone there to say
why don't you just stay,
and hang your hat here?

but she was packed
she had a suitcase
full of bungles and near misses
and she was swinging through a jungle
of last calls and first kisses
and she was learning about things
about huge humilities
and then one day she looked around her
and everything up to then was showing
she wondered how did i get here
without even knowing where i was going
and now there's no getting out of this
there is no going back
and it all seemed so odd sometimes
and the odds all seemed stacked

going once going twice
sold to the girl who ignored all the advice
of all the people who knew better
she just stood there on the front porch
waiting for her will to come and get her

she was packed
she had a suitcase
she had a map
and a straight face
she was ready for the lonely
and she was in it for it only.

2003-05-07T21:25:00.000-04:00

share the time again
I spend with you
a friend is always good to have
but a lover's kiss is better than angels raining down at me
I dream of you at times when you're by my side
dream you're not just like you are
so troubled and doubling my pain
just one more tear
you shed for me
I wish that I could climb inside your mind
and spend some time and hug and hold you
and mold you into what I'd like
but no I can't do this
just a kiss to spend a while by you
and your familiar smile and voice

I lay awake
then lean back and smiling
on you
most everything you do for me, I say
and the while let's make our way
and feel warm
in the middle of this storm with you

but while I do my best
with all the rest I leave to you

all this trouble for a kiss from you, I'll do it
and then you come up smiling
and I'm thrown

the road to you is long and I've been on it for awhile
and I need a warm embrace
I'll take a break
and say I want to leave you awake

-#40, dmb

2003-05-07T20:04:00.000-04:00

this has been THE STRANGEST week. I seem to have a pattern of only making new friends right before I go on break. I know (think) I'm doing the right thing by transferring... but it scares me to think about having to start blank again next fall... I guess I made it through fine here, but for the great majority of my time at Salve I was thoroughly miserable. however I have grown comfortable in my misery, and it has taught me some semblance of independence I suppose... there are certainly people I will miss here. I definitely lucked out with Lauren as a roommate. Kristen and I certainly had our ups and downs, but I can say that any conflicts were a learning experience.
in summation: I'm both ecstatic and depressed to be leaving. very confusing.

2003-05-03T16:10:00.000-04:00

at least I'll be in good company
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

emermaid1028: i am the eighth level
emermaid1028: "extreme"
limelightlover7: at least we will have one another's company in hell
emermaid1028: yeah but youre only two
emermaid1028: im six levels below
emermaid1028: i dont know if theyll let me visit you

2003-04-28T18:38:00.000-04:00

it's going to be one of those weeks. the last one is my favorite.

2003-04-27T01:47:00.000-04:00

I had an awesome awesome time at UNH last night.. I would love to go there next year. Jason's friends were all very nice. I guess he is sort of seeing this girl, which I didn't know... at first she was very quiet and I thought she disliked me, but after a bit she opened up and she is really very sweet. I am pretty protective of Jason, but I approve of her (unless she hurts him, and then there will be trouble).
In any case. It was really depressing to come back to Salve today. Both of my roommates are gone, nobody is around the dorm, and I'm sinking into the standard "I'm lonely and I feel sorry for myself" mode... which is lame but inevitable. I wonder sometimes if there is something really chemically wrong or if it's just standard teenage hormones.
My mom brought me a pan of rice krispie treats on thursday, my favorite thing ever. It was really nice of her to do, except for I think she didn't butter the bottom of the pan so all the rice krispie treats are sticking to the bottom. this wouldn't be so bad, but little bits of the pan flake off and stick to all the marshmallowyness so I'm eating pieces of aluminum with every square. actually, to call them squares is inaccurate, as we have no knives so i am sort of prying up slabs and eating them from the pan.
welcome to college.

2003-04-24T17:45:00.000-04:00

don't want to be an actor pretending on the stage
don't want to be a writer with my thoughts out on the page
don't want to be a painter 'cause everyone comes to look
don't want to be anything where my life's an open book

a dream it's true
but I'd see it through
if I could be
wasting my time with you

don't want to be a farmer working in the sun
don't want to be an outlaw always on the run
don't want to be a climber reaching for the top
don't want to be anything where I don't know when to stop

a dream it's true
but I'd see it through
if I could be
wasting my time with you

so if I'm inside your head
don't believe what you might have read
you'll see what I might have said
to hear it

come waste your time with me
come waste your time with me

so if I'm inside your head
don't believe what you might have read
you'll see what I might have said
to hear it

come waste your time with me
come waste your time with me
come waste your time with me
come waste your time with me

come waste your time with me

-phish

2003-04-24T17:04:00.000-04:00

again, it has been one week since my last post and this is all I have for you:
time for an upgrade

2003-04-17T23:10:00.000-04:00

does anybody actually know what the meaning is of the phrase "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"?

2003-04-15T16:14:00.000-04:00

they always want us to kill dreams
but never until they stand hidden
ugly and basic
below work
http://www.muted.com/magneticpoetry/

2003-04-15T11:46:00.000-04:00

rant of the day
do you know what makes me mad? people who think they have a birth-right to everything they want just because of their last name. like those goddamn von trapps in vermont. oh, big deal, so your family was in "the sound of music"- who cares? I remember auditioning for all-states either last year or my junior year, and reading that the kid auditioning in front of me was a von trapp. and you know of course they're going to take that kid, because wouldn't it be cool to have a von trapp in your chorus?! oh my god! but seriously, they can't ALL be musical- the WHOLE FAMILY?

2003-04-14T14:21:00.000-04:00

it has been one week since I last posted. however, I still have nothing of substance to write about. so here's what we're going to do: I'm going to go finish my math homework before my test, and you're going to go check out toothpaste for dinner. I promise to make up for my lameness at some point in the near future.

2003-04-07T18:40:00.000-04:00

I've been listening to lots of ani difranco and feeling very Angst Princess of the World today... however, I got an email from EMILY W-B today (as in Aramis of our Three Musketeers) and I was positively tickled pink (sorry, lame I know). she sounds well, just as crunchy as ever, but that is exactly what we love about her and I'm glad she hasn't changed. she says she is a "fibers major." I'm not sure exactly what that is... I would guess it is somewhat akin to being a textiles major, but as I am thoroughly unartistic as previously mentioned I can't pretend to be any kind of expert on the topic.

and am I a total dork for thinking this is really, really cool? it would actually probably be a really good investment for me, considering the ridiculous amount of money I spend on soda.

2003-04-07T14:32:00.000-04:00

today's discouraging moment: I receive a spam email from MALES - NEEDED with the subject "Pleaase Help Us Megan!!!" The email reads as follows:
Dear Megan,

PLEASE NOTE, THIS OFFER IS FOR MALES ONLY!
DO NOT SIGNUP IF YOU'RE A WOMAN!

We are pleased to invite you to become a member of the
Lightspeed Consumer Panel where you can make your opinion count,
and be rewarded for it! Click below:

Click Here

Have a Great Day Megan!

come on, seriously. how many men named "Megan" (or, for that matter, Marjean Speedy Esther) do YOU know?

2003-04-07T01:20:00.000-04:00

providence - ani difranco
who knew
at this party that
i would walk in and i would see you
i guess now
we could just get drunk
yeah and that could be our excuse
you could slip
and outta nowhere
i could be there to catch your fall
and we could laugh
at ourselves
and the writing that's on the wall

it's a narrow margin
just room enough for regret
in the inch and a half between
hey, how ya been?
and
can i kiss you yet?
so we talk like
nervous neighbors over a tall fence
true love
but for the lack of providence

but i just got one more
thing to tell you

cause words are vitamins
and life is short
and i know when we get up
to the front office
we're gonna have to fill out
a full report
the first question will be
what were you thinking?
and the next question will be
what did you say?
and they're gonna check to see
if the answers to one and two
matched up much
along the way

in the interest of poetry
and the cowboy movie
that's you and me
i'm back on the horse now
and i'm riding
i am striding so effortlessly
what i mean is
it's late
much too late for us
and i'm fixing to go home
with just my conscience
and a bitter sense of irony
as my chaperone

2003-04-06T20:02:00.000-04:00

wow, this is WAY BETTER than my real name

My Mormon name is Marjean Speedy Esther!
What's yours?

My goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit name is Gangmaster Teapot, Yo.
What's yours?
Powered by Rum and Monkey.

and just because I was having so much fun with the name generators... I ghettified some other people's names.
emily: fellatio teapot, yo
lauren: fallopian ice
ole: ass machine wack
krissy: wankmaster jones
tony (my personal favorite): doctor cwak cwak

there goes fifteen minutes of my life I will never get back.

2003-04-05T18:26:00.000-05:00

dedicated to lauren, who constantly tells me she thinks she has diabetes
diabetes ho

2003-04-05T16:02:00.000-05:00

go me

Your Hidden Sexual Talent is Talking Dirty

All the dirty things you speak,

Make your lovers go totally weak.

"Kiss me here, lick me there.

Parade around in your underwear."

What's *Your* Hidden Sexual Talent?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

2003-04-05T14:45:00.000-05:00

I will never understand
at what point to you just have to say, finally, that enough is enough?

2003-04-03T22:14:00.000-05:00

I am Eloise. I am six.
How I love her.

However, my favorite book of all time is now somewhat tainted with the memory of a particular night in late January... when I brought Eloise downstairs to read to someone, who happened to be thoroughly inebriated, and he was less than appreciative of both my efforts and my choice of reading material (sample bit of conversation- me: "I am Eloise. I am six." he: "no you're not." me: "I am a city child. I live in the Plaza." he: "no you aren't. no you don't.")
seriously, how can anyone NOT love Eloise?

2003-03-28T12:48:00.000-05:00

buy a peace pop
This is one of the scariest freaking things I have ever seen. Do you know what this is, folks? It's called blacklisting, and we've done it before... that was called McCarthyism. The basic message of this page is that actors who disagree with the war in Iraq should lose their right to work. Are you serious? Sure, you can refer to being anti-war as being unpatriotic (I will disagree with you, because there is nothing unpatriotic about being politically-minded and speaking about the decisions YOUR government is making for YOU, but you can go ahead and say it anyway), but why stop there? Why not just make a list of all the Communists in Hollywood?
A statement released by the Screen Actors' Guild says this: "Some have recently suggested that well-known individuals who express 'unacceptable' views should be punished by losing their right to work. This shocking development suggests that the lessons of history have, for some, fallen on deaf ears." It goes on to say "Even a hint of the blacklist must never again be tolerated in this nation."
The irony I find is that both sides of the debate have, essentially, the same argument. The main page of Boycott Hollywood justifies its blacklisting with the statement "These "Hollywood/Celebrity Pundits" need to realize that they do NOT speak for America. They need to stop saying and acting as if they speak for the American public - because we are here to tell you this: YOU DO NOT SPEAK FOR US!" But the precise reason for Americans, any Americans, speaking against the war is identical: they want it to be known that the views of the American government are not necessarily the views of all the American people- "you do not speak for us."
Here's how it is folks: no matter what your view is, there is someone who is speaking for you, and there is someone who is speaking against you. It is an integral principle of democracy that we have the freedom and the right to do this. In my opinion, it is unpatriotic NOT to express your views when that very expression is something our nation was founded on.
One last thing: Boycott Hollywood has Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream listed on their boycott list, due to some comments made by founder Ben Cohen. It quotes a statement in which Cohen says, "we can't go to war and kill hundreds of thousands and wound hundreds of thousands of people, both our own and the people in those countries, any time there's someone around that we don't like." Sounds sane enough to me. However, Boycott Hollywood responds to this with "I'll not purchase another pint of B&J's because it would be too hard to choke down with all the hate-filled rhetoric of it's maker." Hate-filled rhetoric? Last time I checked, saying that violence is wrong in no way promotes hate.

2003-03-27T11:51:00.000-05:00

how a bill becomes a law? come on. this is like schoolhouse rock stuff, isn't it? am I really having a test on this?
(of course, I did have to call Emily- long distance- to have her explain to me that Congress is what the House of Representatives and Senate are referred to collectively. It is good to have a best friend who will tell you things like that without making you feel like a total idiot.)

2003-03-27T10:03:00.000-05:00

newsflash: louisa may alcott had bisexual tendencies
the scariest thing about this creepy school is that everywhere I go I keep discovering new religious statues. they are ALL OVER THE PLACE, hidden in the most random corners. I'll be walking to the caf, and SURPRISE! a marble crucifix. on my way back to the dorm, and howdy! there's ANOTHER statue of the virgin mary. maybe it's just because I'm not catholic and we aren't so into the statues in my church, but it seriously freaks me out a lot.

2003-03-23T01:58:00.000-05:00

and when I told you
I love you more than the sun moon stars sky
it wasn't true, but only
because I can't describe anything grander than those
to love you more than.

2003-03-23T01:42:00.000-05:00

I learned when I was sixteen
that all a man had to do
was tell me
I was beautiful
and then he would own me.
no matter what crimes would follow
he was forever shielded,
even when it happened
once twice three times four
but I accepted it again and again
like we all do:
I take it over & over & believe each time
that here
is where I break my streak and this
is where I prove them wrong.
it doesn't change
but we were always phoenixes, weren't we?
letting the flames lick and scorch
even though they
break us to the ground
we are too glorious to be kept there
for long.
-yours truly

2003-03-20T23:53:00.000-05:00

you know they're serious about the war when they preempt soap operas like "Passions" with war coverage.

2003-03-19T21:53:00.000-05:00

Lauren and I, instead of sitting around and waiting to hear Bush declare war this evening, went to see Adam Richman at Wakehurst... a truly rewarding experience. He was a John Mayer type with an eyebrow ring and an artillery of songs about his ex-girlfriends, during one of which he rhymed "Joanna" with "bandana." This reminded me of the fact that no one is ever going to write a song about me because "Megan" is not an aesthetically pleasing name and does not rhyme with anything.
However, Ari Fleischer just announced that Bush is going to address the nation at 10:15. So I feel like it's time to ease out of teeny bopper mode and into an informed and concerned adult frame of mind.

2003-03-18T12:05:00.001-05:00

BOMBING for PEACE is like FUCKING for VIRGINITY.

2003-03-18T12:05:00.000-05:00

I don't care if you are Irish or Irish-for-a-day: if St Patrick's Day falls on a Monday and you have an 8:30 class on Tuesday morning it is NOT a good idea to go out. Of course I didn't actually set my alarm correctly last night (surprise surprise), so I didn't get up for that class, but I then had a voice lesson at 10:30. Let me tell you, there is not much that is more miserable than a hungover voice lesson. Just try it.

2003-03-16T22:55:00.000-05:00

Today is a day where I know I don't want to be here at school, but I don't know where it is I would rather be. Today is a day where I would be prefer to be nowhere at all, and with nobody at all, even though there are people I miss terribly.

2003-03-15T12:02:00.000-05:00

the curse of march 14
I don't know what it is folks, but after reflecting on last night's fiasco I realized I cannot remember the last time I had a good birthday. Last year was the incident with Lee, the year before was the Sweet Beats trick (a trick you cannot pull on someone like me), and I don't even remember my sixteenth birthday- my sweet sixteen! lord lord lord. life is so difficult when you're the diva of all drama queens.

2003-03-14T17:00:00.000-05:00

my favorite discovery of the day: nataliedee.com

2003-03-14T16:51:00.000-05:00

ah... it's so nice to be home.

2003-03-14T12:02:00.000-05:00

happy birthday to me

2003-03-13T02:05:00.000-05:00

YOU KNOW YOU GREW UP IN THE 80's IF
1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCH."
2. You watched the Pound Puppies.
3. You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Belair."
4. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish.
5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters Club and tired to start a club of your own.
6. You owned those little Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
7. You know that "WOA" comes from Joey on Blossom.
8. Two words: M.C. Hammer
9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock."
10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars.
11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales."
12. When it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
13. You wore a pony tail on the side of your head.
14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" on the big screen.
15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
16. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.
17. You played the game "MASH" (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House) with friends at school.
18. You wore Jordache jean jacket and you were proud of it.
19. L.A. Gear.....
20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten.
21. You remember reading "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing" and all the Ramona books.
22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF."
23. You wanted to be a Goonie.
24. You ever wore, fluorescent, if you will, clothing.
25. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off...
26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
27. You took Lunch Pales to school.
28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.
29. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence.
30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.
31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.
32. You thought Sheena and He-Man should hook up.
33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged friendship bracelets.
34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes.
35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know what you are, but what am I?"
36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"
37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were in-line skates.
38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.
41. You've gone through this list occasionally saying "This wasn't from the 80's!"
42. You remember Popples.
43. "Don't worry, be happy"
44. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.
45. You wore socks scrunched down.
46. "Miss MARY MACK MACK MACK, all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK"
47. You remember boom boxes vs cd players.
48. You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies.
49. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!!"
50. You remember watching Rainbow Bright and My Little Pony"
51. You thought Doogie Howser was hot.
52. You remember Alf, the little furry brown alien from Melmac.
53. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool.
54. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By the Bell", the ORIGINAL class.
55. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THRU THE HEART.
56. Acid wash jeans. Come on.

2003-03-11T11:30:00.000-05:00

we're asking americans to be ready
have you seen these new government commercials featuring your friend and mine Tom Ridge, in addition to various protectors of the people (fireman, policewoman, etc.)? They make me a little nervous. "Don't worry folks, everything is fine, but just in case we suffer a nuclear holocaust or something of the sort, it's probably a good idea to have six months worth of canned food, wireless/battery-less/power source-less phones, and several copies of the most recent book published by a Republican. just to be safe." what the hell! I'm not sure what the right way is to reassure the american public, but this certainly isn't it. and has anyone else noticed that Tom Ridge is not an attractive man? he should definitely not be in commercials.

2003-03-10T01:00:00.000-05:00

good girls go to heaven... bad girls go everywhere
embrace your inner bitch
I have had the absolutely craziest weekend... vacation barely started and I am exhausted already. I had so much fun at Midd with Emily though, her friends are not scary snobs like my impression of the majority of Middlebury students. They were all very down to earth and friendly, so I am not afraid anymore that she is going to become a bitch. other than the level of bitchiness she and I possess already, of course.
an epiphany of some variety: I have reached a point where I realize that there is truly no way I can please everyone, and it is impossible for every person I meet to like me. and you know what? that's fine. the people who dislike me are not the people who I like anyway, so why does it matter if they like me or not?

2003-03-06T12:48:00.000-05:00

Rob is giving up AIM for Lent. more evidence on what a generation of technology we are. IM him (SwapBravo) and give him a hard time about it.

2003-03-05T23:49:00.000-05:00

joke of the day
from jen and tonic
a guy asks an american, "what proof do you have that iraq has weapons of mass destruction?"
the american replies, "we kept the receipts."

2003-03-05T18:32:00.000-05:00

march 14 advice
you're probably wondering what I want for my birthday (which is in 9 days and counting). most people are. here are a few suggestions:
Middlebury College Dissipated Eight - Eight Balls
Dave Matthews Band - Before These Crowded Streets
John Mayer - Any Given Thursday

and also I really really like it when people make me mix CDs. a lot.
or you can just buy me a coke and we'll call it even.

2003-03-05T14:43:00.000-05:00

if you wait for me
then I’ll come for you
although I’ve traveled far
I always hold a place for you
in my heart
if you think of me
if you miss me once in awhile
then I’ll return to you
I’ll return and fill that space
in your heart
-tracy chapman

really sounds much sappier here than it does in the song... oh well.

2003-03-03T14:27:00.000-05:00

Now when you talk with her, I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie that everybody really hopes makes it happen. I want you to be the guy in the rated-R movie who you're not sure if you like yet.
--Trent; The Swingers--

ok, I admit that I took this from some totally random person's profile and I have no idea as to the context of the quote... but I liked it and I stole it. there, are you happy?

2003-03-03T00:56:00.000-05:00

for everyone
there's a person, place or time
that brings you back
and makes you feel alive
before your reason clouds your eyes
you could rule the world
if you wanted to
-better than ezra

2003-03-02T22:44:00.000-05:00

Jason Kittredge, you saved my sanity today.

and now, a completely unrelated paragraph.

Am I really a bad person because I think South Park is possibly the funniest show I have ever seen, with the possible exception of The Simpsons? I was choking on my own laughter while watching the episode with Timmy and Jimmy last night. There must be a lot of other people who think South Park is funny too, because otherwise it wouldn't still be on the air. I do, however, feel like I should go to confession after watching an episode- luckily I'm not Catholic and I have no such obligations.

2003-03-02T17:02:00.000-05:00

my two main problems:
a) as much as I hate to say it, I really do talk too much. I don't know when to shut up, and things I say tend to get back to exactly the people who shouldn't hear them.
b) I trust everyone. I'm not at all discriminating as to who I tell my life story to, and it gets me in trouble. I think somewhere along the line I got the idea in my head that if you tell secrets to people, it makes them your friends. The world does not actually work this way.

2003-03-02T13:58:00.000-05:00

I can't believe I'm not transferring.

2003-03-02T00:56:00.000-05:00

gotta love the random junior high girls
guRlgoEsdOwn: so what the fuck seriously happened betwenn you and lee???
limelightlover7: who is this?
guRlgoEsdOwn: b/c what i heard is that you wanted to have more than one guy
guRlgoEsdOwn: and he dind't like that sounds of that which i would either
guRlgoEsdOwn: how could you ever say that to lee... he is the sweetest thing in the world and you wanted to also see other ppl
guRlgoEsdOwn: thats so fucked up
limelightlover7: what are you talking about
guRlgoEsdOwn: you know what i am talking about megan
limelightlover7: i think you should get your facts straight
limelightlover7: you know nothing about what is going on between lee and i, and frankly it isn't any of your busines
guRlgoEsdOwn: uummm.. hhmmm... no i think that you shoudl stop being a lil hooch
limelightlover7: that's very mature
guRlgoEsdOwn: yeah it is
guRlgoEsdOwn: what you fucking did was wrong
guRlgoEsdOwn: how could you even think about saying that to him
guRlgoEsdOwn: he loved you so much megan
limelightlover7: we are together
limelightlover7: and we're very happy
limelightlover7: so it's really unnecessary for you to bitch me out about it
guRlgoEsdOwn: yeah oookk
guRlgoEsdOwn: well wether you are together now that dont mean shit to me
guRlgoEsdOwn: he shouldnt be wiht you...
guRlgoEsdOwn: your sucha dumb bitch and he shouldt have taken you back
guRlgoEsdOwn: and im sure even he knows that one by now
limelightlover7: i think you would be smart to stop talking about things you don't understand
limelightlover7: i don't know what you're trying to accomplish, but calling me names and making things up gets you nowhere
guRlgoEsdOwn: oohh ok

what a day.